When a person sins and then feels shame, they often experience the desire to hide this through deception and lies. But this sets them on a path of destruction.

Our sin leads to shame. Our shame leads to secrecy. Our secrecy leads to solitude. Our solitude weakens our strength, which in turn leads to more sin. This cycle continues, but can be broken.

The Cycle of Sin is © 2012 Steve Baney

What should we do when trust has been broken? How can it be rebuilt?

1. Fess Up.

The LORD said in Proverbs 28:13, “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” Rebuilding trust begins with something we don’t usually want to do: confess (ad). Be honest about your sin. So long as it remains a secret, it continues to have dominion over you.

2. Be Kind.

When you have broken someone’s trust, you have a responsibility to respond in a godly way (even when others don’t). God instructs you, in Ephesians 4:32, to “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” When others are hurt by your actions, you may be tempted to get defensive, angry, or frustrated with how they react. But kindness is still essential (both to and from others). Getting angry or bitter will only create more distance. True repentance grows where kindness and humility are present. Romans 2:4 reminds us, “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?” God’s kindness toward you is meant to lead you to change — not to excuse your actions, but to transform your heart.

3. Start Small.

I encourage you to make consistent effort in proving your trustworthiness in the little, tiny things. These add up over time. In Luke 16:10, Jesus said, “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” Trust can be built by a pattern of proven character. Patterns are established over time, bit by bit. What are some little things you can do that show, even in a small way (ad), you can be trusted?

4. Guard Your Heart.

The sinful nature of every human being lures us to love our sin. But this always leads to spiritual death and suffering. Be careful what you allow your heart to be in love with. The LORD warns us in Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

5. Get Back Up.

Everyone fails. At some point. At many points. Google Heather Dorniden and watch her 2008 race. Some who fail never recover. Don’t be one of them. Restart. Do things differently. Make the difficult changes. Pay the cost. The LORD said, “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again” (Proverbs 24:16). Get back up.

6. Be Open to Restoration.

Have you ever seen someone restore an old car or a run-down house? To restore something means to bring it back to its original condition before it was changed or damaged. When you break the trust of others, it’s not just the relationship that needs restoring; you need restoration too. Start rebuilding gently and carefully. Don’t rush it. Soften your heart so it can really experience change. What matters is a sincere, humble invitation back into truthful, honest relationships. Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted” (NIV). None of us are better (or worse) than anyone else. We all desperately need God’s mercy and grace. Stay humble, stay honest, and trust that restoration is possible.

7. Commit to Honesty.

Committing to honesty is one of the most powerful choices you can make for your relationships, your character, and your walk with God. Proverbs 12:22 says, “The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy” (NIV). The solution to lies is never more lies. Honesty builds trust. If you want to commit to honesty, start with a few simple steps: tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable, admit when you’re wrong, and ask God daily to help you speak with both truth and love. Ephesians 4:25 reminds us, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (NIV). Honesty honors God, blesses others, and frees you to live without the heavy burden of hidden sin.

Rebuilding trust after it has been broken isn’t quick or easy. But it is possible. God’s grace makes restoration real and reachable for those who are willing to walk in humility, truth, and perseverance. Every step you take — confessing sin, showing kindness, staying faithful in small things, guarding your heart, and committing to honesty — is a step toward healing, not just for your relationships, but for your own soul too. Remember, God is not finished with you. Philippians 1:6 promises, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (NIV). You can trust God’s ability to rebuild what has been broken.

Can you think of another step? Want to discuss which step is most difficult for you? I’d love to hear from you, encourage you, and pray for you. Share a comment.